You’ve worked up the courage, the day has come where you are going to find exactly what you have been praying for. “Oh wow, look at all the options” you think to yourself as you take a look around and study. As you continue to browse you keep passing the ones who did not catch your eye and then land on the one that does. The perfect hair, has a little age and seems nice enough? You begin to read about them and their personality, but not too much is revealed. You are intrigued and want to spend some 1:1 time so you make the request. You know that there may be some history but that won’t matter after they have met you, right?
Trick question: Am I taking about the dating scene or going to the humane society to find a furry companion?
Trick answer: it could be both*
*There are so many things that I could try to squeeze in to this, when it comes to humane society vs. dating…and…no this is not a hate article to say all men are dogs…(sorry to burst your bubble, male haters).
When you walk in to a human society, you understand (well, most do) that the dog you adopt comes with a past and you are going to have to work through the dogs fears, issues, and quarks. The same can be said when you are dating.
When you meet somebody (especially when they are over 25) you need to understand that they come with the SAME fear of past situations as your furry little friend. I know that when I have adopted dogs in the past, they don’t trust you right away.. but why would they? You are new to them and this is a whole new environment / life that they are about to endeavor. Keep in mind they have gone through some hard times, with “people like you”.
Dating at this age, you are not getting something that is fresh on the scene who knows no better than what you have to offer and will be your ride-or-die companion from day one. The person you are dating (or dog you are adopitng) has been through life..with OTHER PEOPLE…up to this point until they meet your crazy ass. People are going to approach dating just as skeptical as a newly adopted dog approaches you. You are clinically insane if you think that when you adopt a dog and bring it home its going to like you and your actions right away. If you have ever adopted a dog, or any animal, you know that these things take time – our relationships and truly getting to know something takes time.
This post is not to say that if you see a trigger or a red flag right away that you stick around and hope to change something. We all know how this one works… “A tale as old as time….”. No, it is to suggest that you do not go in to dating / relationship thinking you’re getting a new puppy or that YOU ARE A NEW PUPPY. Treat your 1-on-1 time so precious (dog or human) to learn, play, study. Also just accept you are two broken little things our here just looking to meet “the right companion” and enjoy this life together! xx