50 SHADES OF…NO WAY!

Introduction

When I first heard about 50 Shades of Grey, I only heard the fun details. The whips, the love story and the gorgeous description of Mr. Christian Grey. So, naturally going into the movie I was expecting some kind of great relationship build up and a little hanky panky. NO! My world was totally crushed when I came to see the reality of this obsession. By crushed, I mean that I had my jaw to the floor most of the time and kept turning my my friend saying “No! This is not real…he did not just do/say that”

Rant: Control Freak
Little did I know that he was a complete control freak. Like, the kind that they warn you about it school and in women’s health class.The kind that controls your mind, treats you like crap and then turns around and says “I Love You”. He has issues dude. I get it if your are into whips and the whole submissive and dominate thing (having power and control over another human). But he takes it to another level. A contract? Controlling the woman by making her his sex slave for the weekend? Showing up whoever she is without her knowing? Taking her away from all friends and family to live in his house…which by the way was no cardboard box.

Rant: Gorgeous Man
Which brings me to my next point of anger towards this movie. If Christian Grey was some poor bum on the streets tying up girls and whipping them for pleasure the title of the movie would be The First 48. Come on! COME ON! If this person was poor and ugly we would be taken back that a theater would even show such a thing.

Rant: Romantic Story
There is nothing romantic about this movie. I literally think that the most romantic thing was when Ana made pancakes, I am not even kidding.

Rant: Man vs. Woman
Movies like this just further the stigma that men are the ones in control and women are the ones who bow down to make them happy. Christian jumps to conclusion that the Ana wants to have sex with him, because how could women resist him right? He is a “young billionaire”. Women swoon to be a slave to a man of such fortune. NOT! He is a man who does not take his partners comfort into consideration. It is so obvious that she gives in just to make him happy. Do not get me wrong, she gets something out of it. But. She does it…FOR HIM. She even asks “What do I get out of it?” his arrogant response? “Me.” HA. Ok, so you want her to be your submissive so that she has the pleasure of knowing that she is with you.

In contrast, I get it that Ana is somewhat power and can fight the sexual force and enticement of Mr. Grey, but girl. Get out while you can. People always want to fix what is broken. Reality check, a piece of tape doesn’t fix a broken leg.

Also, I feel like if this movie was a woman dominating a man it would be considered a porno flick.

Rant: Laters Baby
….I mean.

Conclusion
Maybe it is because I did not read the books that I just do not understand. And trust me the women I work with lashed out when I expressed my opinion. Acting as if they had just heard that their first born had committed a crime. But I just was not expecting it to be such a men rule the world – dominate type of movie.

Great soundtrack, this rant blog, beautiful cars and Rita Ora. That might sum up the best parts of the movie.

P.S. It should have been Chuck Bass who played Christian Grey, just saying.

P.P.S. I will never look at a gray tie the same again

gray tie